Everybody's workin' for the weekend.....

To most, it's no secret that this coming weekend is a big deal for our family. It's a life-changing, life-moving deal. We knew that God would be faithful if we just let go of our grip to our surroundings. To all we've ever known. All we've been accustomed to is the daily grind, somewhat being in a ministry role, but having obligations to secular jobs that completely determined when we came and when we went. 

But this new step.....this is freedom...

I'm excited for this weekend, diving head first into some good works that He has began. I'll be honest. When we handed God the reigns a few months ago, I had no clue how He would use us again. And not that I'm ready to take the reigns back by any means, but this door that He has opened....wow. The picture that He has painted...it's overwhelmingly good. Above and beyond what we dreamed. 

I would have never picked this for myself. His vision is so much greater than ours. I am nervous. I am reminded of how unworthy I am. And as wonderful and smooth as it all has been thus far, the enemy still renders me with such anxiety. The unknowns..

It's hard to sleep at night. Until He takes the unknowns and rests them on His shoulders. When He takes my anxieties and soothes my soul. Man, I don't deserve His love and faithfulness, His loving-kindness. 

But He is my strength when I am weak, 

He is the treasure that I seek.

He is my All in All

I'm every woman...

I wish I could tell you that the last six months, where I have had the opportunity to stay at home with my beautiful children, have been life changing and fulfilling. And honestly, if I was half the mother that I should be, I would be telling you how rewarding each and every moment has been. I have this picture of the perfect mom in my head. She is the combination of a 3-5 different women I know. The football mom, who is engaged in her kids' daily activities, loves her husband more than life itself, loves Jesus, and embraces her role as a P31. The military wife, who runs her home while her man is deployed, home schools her four beautiful blessings, has this amazing awareness of the physical and spiritual health of not just her but her family as well. The pastor's wife, who home schools her blessings based on Biblical aspects, runs an inspiring blog and loves her Jesus. The mother who is a cancer survivor, works  full time job, conquers her fears daily and is a runner. Throw in my mom, my sisters, and there you have it.....my ideal woman. The woman who I strive to be like. Isn't she beautiful, folks??? 

And while this imaginary woman seems like a great plan, I have completely missed the mark. Each of these girls wake up every morning and put their pants on one leg at a time. They have goals just like me. So the difference?? While I'm striving to model my life like theirs, they are striving to model their life like HIM. 

So last week, I wrote down their names and exactly what I admired of them. As the list grew, I realized how ridiculous it all was. The truth is, I am made in the image of Christ, just like them. I have been given opportunities to serve Him, just like them. It is my job to follow through, to love Jesus and love people. And I do....I do love Jesus and I adore people. I love my husband and my beautiful G and P. and I love my family and my friends. And while I'm in a different stage of life than some other women, I am embracing this journey He's given me. It's a short journey so I don't have time for menial comparisons.

Even though I feel as though I wasted six months, today....today my son told me I was pretty. Today I got to lounge around with my kids while I'm still healing. Today, I got to take my kids to a birthday party so they could spend time with friends that we might not get to see very often in the near future. Today, I showed my babies how fireflies shine at night. Today, I got kisses from both my children and my man. And I have seen God's glory through it all. He spent all day with me today. All day people... Today, I was shown that He loves me...and there's more to come.

As I wait....

Never bargain with God. When you start to trade your deeds for His, He will always get His heart broke. Don't speak vain prayers. Don't even utter them. Mean what you say, because He will always take you at your word. He always lives up to His end of the deal. 

Those are words I should have said to myself three months ago.....even a year ago. My husband and I were empty. Clueless. Stunned. Broken.

Empty.

We questioned God, and we were totally out of line. For years, He has proven Himself to us over and over and over again. Every piece of our particular story has been penned by Him. He has placed us, removed us, broken us, provided for us, loved us, forgiven us, blessed us, HEARD US. Brought us back to Him when we had wondered astray. When David wrote "the Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want" we think he had us in his clear view. We are the poster couple for that verse. We have mental memorials to remind us of His faithfulness. His timing. His people. His provision. His love.

So, when we prayed and decided to let Him have His way, He has simply wowed us again. I hope that I never grow tired of His Hand. That I never forget where we started and where we are headed. Even when we tend to lose our way, He has held steady. Even on the straight and narrow, there are still small places to stop and hide. I, however, have never been out of His sight.